Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Update - I know, it's about time!

Since my chemo treatment 2 weeks ago, things have gone about the same as the previous treatments. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me to get motivated to write on my blog.  Pretty boring, just the same old same old.  But those of you reading my blog don't know that, and maybe you wonder if I am sick and sleeping and throwing up!  (I am not) So I thought I had better give you an update.

Our anniversary is December 20th - 39 years this year!!  So we decided to take a road trip to Southern Utah and take photos in the National Parks.  I was a little hesitant since we left on the second day after treatment.  I try to gargle with salt and soda 3 or 4 times each day for the first few days and am very careful about what I eat.  So eating out and being in hotels had me a little concerned.  But things went fine.

Selfies are never very flattering!

We stayed the first night at Ruby's Inn outside of Bryce Canyon.  I thought it was cold enough when we went to take pictures on the afternoon we arrived, but Ken got up early to catch the sunrise the next morning.  And it was 7 degrees with a little breeze.  I stayed in the nice warm hotel and slept in.  Smart me!  But here are some of the photos that Ken took.  Amazingly beautiful place with the snow on the red rocks.  I wish I could have taken the hike that Ken did to get some of these photos.  I just don't have the energy to do hills right now. 




We left Bryce and drove to Zion's National Park that afternoon.  After the dramatic contrasts in Bryce, Zion just didn't have the vistas we had hoped for.  There wasn't much snow, and it was much warmer.  But I did take these photos with my phone.



We spent some time at our condo in St. George and just enjoyed being together with no work to interfere.  We did have a little excitement on Christmas Eve day.  We planned to get up early and leave for home.  I went to fill the car with gas while it was still dark and as I was almost to the station, I heard the car run over something.  And then as I was leaving the gas station, the low tire pressure light came on.  I wasn't too worried and when I got back to the condo, I got out to check the tires.  Well, one of the tires was flat!  Ken emptied the trunk and looked for the spare.  What?  No spare?  Just a kit to stop a leak and inflate the tire.  We knew we couldn't drive home with that temporary fix, so started calling around to find a replacement tire.  I tried 3 different places and no one had the brand and size we needed in stock.  They all said they would have to order it in and probably wouldn't get it until Monday.  We were thinking we might have to stay in St. George over Christmas!  

Then Ken remembered that he had the Hyundai Assistance plan with his car, so we called the dealership in town.  They had the tire in stock, but would only be open until noon.  Hyundai sent out a tow truck (they said, why use the kit when we could get towed!) and Ken went with the driver to the dealership.  They found a nail in the tire, repaired the tire and wouldn't charge us anything.  And with, "Have a Merry Christmas" Ken was on his way back to the condo.  We finished cleaning up and then left for Provo.  Thank you Hyundai!!

We had a quiet Christmas morning at home and then went to visit our local kids and grandkids in the afternoon.  I am thankful that everyone was well and that we could go visit and enjoy being with the kids as they showed us their new gifts.  So between being home and visiting with kids (either in person or by phone or by FaceTime), it was a very nice day.  

And now I am staying home for the 5 days that my immunity is at its lowest.  I have been catching up on some reading, trying some new recipes, and getting started with the year end things that we need to do for our stores.  

Things I am thankful for:
- The opportunity to celebrate our 39 year marriage.  I love Ken more than ever!
- Christmas at home and with some of the family.  We even had a white Christmas!
- The many friends who left Christmas treats and gifts on our front porch, and for Diane keeping them all safe till we got home.
- The huge blessing of feeling good, even after 5 chemo treatments.
- The time to read and reflect on the Savior and what He means in my life.  

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

One More Done!

Today was my fifth chemo treatment.  All went well and I am so grateful to have the love and support of this guy!

It was a good and busy week leading up to this treatment.  I dried some more apples, went to book group and support group, did some Christmas shopping, played 9 holes of golf (better than last time!), went on a date with Ken to see Miracle on 34th Street at BYU, and went visiting teaching.  We also had a family lunch at the country club with our kids that are here in Utah.  We look forward to that tradition every year!  It's so fun to have adult time together.  And then we came home to play with the grandkids.  Instead of a baking day this year (I didn't quite have the energy to pull that one off) we all made cookies and candy to have a cookie exchange.  We missed having everyone here to bake, but next year I will be back and ready to take that on again!  We all came away with plates of goodies to take to people on our Christmas list.  In fact, I took the last of our treats to share at the clinic today.  I needed to get them out of the house so I would stop eating them!

I am grateful for the thoughtfulness of friends.  These are some things that have shown up on our porch.  I am excited to grow the Amaryllis.  I have seen these, but never had one.  I'll have to post a photos of it when it blooms.  Thanks Sibyl!!


And I can't wait to try the jam from Anita.  The ornaments are from Diane D who always thinks of me on my chemo days - you are wonderful Diane.  The bread is from the Activity Day girls (ages 8-11) at church (I was a leader for them until this cancer slowed me down).  They came caroling to my door not 15 minutes after I got home from the clinic.  I am so glad I was here to listen to them sing!  And they made the bread!  Impressive, huh?  I miss being with them.  And then there is the friend that brought me some fresh juices to get through the next couple of days.  She also brought chips and salsa - she knows us!!  Thanks Krista.


Things I am thankful for:
- My white blood cell count actually went UP this time.  Back into the normal range.  Such good news.
- cute carolers who all gave me a big group hug.
- Ken giving me another priesthood blessing before going to chemo.  It is so comforting.
- At this time of year I am especially grateful for the birth of our Savior and what his teachings and his sacrifice mean to me.  I love Him.  If you haven't seen this, you need to watch this beautiful nativity song video.  Click here.
- All of you who send me such encouraging messages and keep me in your prayers.  Thank you, thank you!


Monday, December 8, 2014

Holidays with chemo

I have thought and thought about what I want to say in this post because I had a few days after chemo #4 where I let myself fall into a pity party.  And I have decided that it was because of my expectations and desires for the holidays.  But the reality is that this year is going to have to be different than I would like.

Physically this round has been about like the others.  I have been able to avoid mouth sores.  The digestive issues have passed.  My throat wanting to constrict lasted longer than the last few times and I have had more hot flashes than usual.  But I really let my emotions get the best of me for a few days there!   That made me tired and cranky and I didn't like it one bit.  One of the things I love about the holidays is that we are able to spend so much time with our family.  I was sad that we didn't have our regular Thanksgiving with our kids in Utah.  And it was sad to think about not having our Christmas baking day.  Or having our California kids come for the holidays since my immunity will be so low right around Christmas.  And sad that I don't have enough energy to decorate like I usually do.

I actually had a really neat experience with this though.  I was praying, and asking the Lord to help me get out of the funk that I was in.  You know how you have a thought and you know that it is an answer to your prayers?  Well, the thought that came to me was "remember, this is but for a small moment".  I knew that already.  That is why I chose that as the name for this blog.  But having that reminder helped me get back to being thankful for all my blessings again.  It is amazing what a difference a positive attitude makes in how you feel.  All of a sudden, I had my energy back (though still not enough to pull out all my Christmas decorations!).  And I was happy again.  So even though it will be a different holiday than I would have liked, I am not feeling sick and I am alive and fighting this cancer!

Since I didn't post for awhile, here is what has been going on with me.  I was able to play golf for the first time since August.  We have had such a mild couple of weeks.  It was nice to get out with friends in the sunshine.  I took a cart because I knew I would get tired if I tried to walk 18 holes.  I still got a little tired and it showed in my swing.  But I did make 2 pars!  But I sure had a high score : )


I was also able to go to the temple with a friend and feel the peace that is there.  I got our Christmas tree up and decorated.  I cleaned off my desk of the paperwork that had been piling up.  I taught a Sunday School class to the young single adults about marriage.  I tried some new recipes (the one for the hoisin glazed pork was really good!).  I made applesauce and dried a lot of apples.  



I love getting the cards and treats that get left on my front porch.  My visiting teacher gave me these
cute Christmas kitchen towels!  My friends are so thoughtful.


When I am at home, I don't always have a scarf or hat on.  I will put one on if I get cold, but I am often just going around bald-headed.  Ken thinks it is pretty funny when I put my reading glasses on the top of my bald head.  I have found that they don't stay up there very well on a bald head.  I will forget I have them there and bend over to do something and they slide right off!


Our granddaughter, Michaela, had surgery for SVT arrhythmia last week.  It is a pretty common surgery to correct arrhythmia, but any surgery is scary.  She is holding one of the 8 catheters that they used to get from her leg up to her heart.  We are grateful that all went well and that she has been able to recover quickly.  I am glad that we got to go visit her after she got home. She has such a great positive attitude and can make you laugh with her stories of what went on in the hospital. 


Here are some of the many things I am thankful for:
- Answers to prayer.  And knowing that the Lord hears and is aware of me.
- Family who are able to come visit and those that check up on me with phone calls.
- Christmas and the chance to celebrate the Saviors' birth and all that means to me.
- Feeling good and having enough energy to accomplish many things.
- Ken and his patience and understanding and hugs.
- All of you, for your thoughts and prayers and messages.
- That I am 2/3 the way through these chemo treatments!





Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Chemo 101 and Treatment #4

It's funny how something so out of the ordinary, like chemo, can become routine.  I even choose to sit in the same chair each time.  I like the light from the window and I like being right next to the nurse's desk.  As we met with Dr. Wallentine today, we discussed having some sort of scan in the middle of treatment.  We decided that we would not do that.  It would not change the treatment schedule either way, so why go to the expense?  An MRI would only show the mass, not whether it was still active cancer or not.  So we might see the mass being the same size and not know whether the cells were being killed or not.  And that would cause me to worry!  A PET scan would show active cancer, but at this point we know that the drugs are having an effect and we might as well wait till after the last treatment to make sure all the cancer is killed.  So we will just keep doing what we are doing and let the drugs do their work.


Here is the beginning of my day,
                                               
 
And back at home at the end of the day!


This rest of this post is about cancer and chemo drugs and may be more than you want to know about chemo.  But I have had lots of people ask me about it, so I thought I would share what Ken and I have learned over the last couple of months.

One of the best books we have read is "The Emperor of All Maladies" by Siddhartha Mukherjee.  It is a history of cancer and treatments and it is a fascinating read.  There are so many types of cancer and each one reacts differently to the various drugs out there.  So the development of chemotherapy has really been a trial and error testing of the different drugs at different levels of dosage to find what might kill the cancer without killing the patient.  Chemo treatment began in the US in the 1940's.

We have also asked many questions of my oncologist about my cancer and the treatment I am going through.  One question we had was why there was no universal test to find cancer in people.  The answer was that everyone has cancer cells in them.  But not everyone has cancer cells that get triggered in some way to start growing out of control.  So a universal test would actually show that everyone has cancer.

Here is a short explanation of cancer.  Cancerous tumors are out-of-control cell division.  Normal cells stop dividing when they come into contact with like cells, a mechanism know as contact inhibition.  Cancerous cells lose this ability.  They no longer have the normal checks and balances in place that control and limit cell division.  All cells, whether normal or cancerous, go through a cycle: resting phase, active growing phase, then division.

The ability of chemotherapy to kill cancer cells depends on its ability to stop the cell division.  Usually the drugs work by damaging the RNA or DNA that tells the cell how to copy itself in the division phase.  If the cells are not able to divide, they die.  The faster the cells are dividing, the more likely it is that chemotherapy will kill the cells, causing the tumor to shrink. (That is why chemo works better on aggressive cancers.)

The scheduling of chemo treatment is based on the type of cells, the rate they divide and the time the given drug is likely to be effective.  Some drugs kill during a specific part of the cell cycle and others kill no matter what the stage the cell is in.

The thing that makes chemo so hard on the body is that the drugs do not know the difference between the cancerous cells and the normal cells.  Chemo will kill all cells that are rapidly dividing.  The normal cells will grow back and be healthy but in the meantime the side effects occur.  The normal cells most affected by chemo are the ones that grow the fastest in the body - blood cells, cells in the mouth, stomach and bowel, and the hair follicles.  Thus you get the low blood counts, mouth sores, nausea, diarrhea or constipation, and hair loss.

The treatment regimen they use for my Aggressive Diffuse Large B Cell Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma is called by the acronym R-CHOP.  Each letter stands for a different drug in the chemo treatment.  The CHOP part of this particular mix has been around for quite awhile.  The R part, rituximab is a newer drug and has dramatically increased the effectiveness of the treatment.

R
Rituximab was approved for use by the FDA in 1997, but it wasn't until about 2005 that it started to be used with the already existing CHOP treatment.  Rituximab is a monoclonal antibody.  These monoclonal antibodies (MAB's) are often called immunotherapy or targeted cancer therapy.  The drug  is made to bind to a  specific type of cell.  In this case it binds to a protein on the large B cell that makes up my tumor.  In a normal situation, the body produces antibodies to kill germs or foreign cells in the body.  But cancer cells trick the antibodies that we produce into thinking that they are normal cells.  So this MAB locks onto the B cell and our body now can recognize that cell as being abnormal and the body's natural immune system can kill the cancer.

C
Cytoxan.  Just the name sounds bad, doesn't it?  Trials of this drug were done in the 1950's.  It is derived from mustard gas (yes, like the gas they used in WW1.  Yikes!) and is most active during the resting phase of the cell.

H
Hydroxyldaunorubicin (also named Doxorubicin or Adriamycin)  Also called the Red Devil.  This is another drug from the 1950's.  This is injected from a syringe (as opposed to a drip bag) into the IV line over about a 10 minute time period.  The nurse sits by my side and slowly pushes the drug into the line.  This is the drug that can really cause mouth sores.  I keep ice in my mouth during the injection because the cold slows down the blood circulation in my mouth and helps keep the mouth sores from being so bad.  This drug is called an anti-tumor antibiotic and is derived from the soil fungus Streptomyces.

O
Oncovin or Vincristine was approved by the FDA in 1963 but had been used in folk remedies for centuries.  It is also injected by syringe into the IV line, but it is a much smaller syringe than the one used for the Adriamycin and goes in much faster.   It is a plant alkaloid from vinca or periwinkle, the pacific yew tree, the May Apple plant and the Asian "happy tree".  It stops part of the cell's apparatus from dividing and replicating itself, which causes cell death.  It can cause numbness and tingling of fingers and toes. ( I haven't had that side effect!)

P
Prednisone.  The drug that makes it hard for me to sleep!  I take 100 mg a day for 5 days following the chemo treatment.  It works to decrease inflammation and the swelling around tumors.  It also affects the metabolism of carbohydrates, protein and fats and helps maintain the balance of fluids and electrolytes. And it works as an anti-nausea drug.

So, there are my chemo drugs.  There is one more drug in the arsenal to help with this fight.  The day after chemo I am given a Neulasta shot (This stuff is like gold  One injection is about $4800.)  It is called a granulocyte colony-stimulating factor.  What that does is stimulate the bone marrow to produce more neutrophils (white blood cells) to fight infection in patients undergoing chemotherapy.  Since the chemo kills the blood cells that are in circulation, this shot helps get my blood counts back to more normal levels faster.

Things I am thankful for:
- Insurance!  Each treatment with the Neulasta shot is about $17,000.
- Knowledge, and the people who write about chemo in a way that makes it understandable.
- Drugs.  I know I have said this before, but I am so thankful that there is a way to treat this cancer.  I appreciate the doctors and  researchers for their efforts to find a cure for cancer.  And the patients who were willing to test these drugs.  They really suffered!
- Ken's constant support and the priesthood blessings he gives me.
- Our family!  I love them all so much!!
- Having very few of the side effects of chemo (and it is a very long list for each drug).






Sunday, November 16, 2014

Sunday Musings

I miss going to church on these Sundays that I have to stay away from people and germs.  But I have enjoyed the quiet time at home.  I have read some of the talks from the last general conference.  I think one of my favorite talks was given by D. Todd Christofferson titled "Free Forever, to Act for Themselves".  He talks about the agency we have been given by God and how we are ultimately responsible for our choices.  I have always felt that we choose how we react to the situations that mortal life presents to us.  And that the situations are a test of our faith and our decision to follow Christ.  And in the end they are for our growth and progression.  You can listen to, or read, this talk here at lds.org.

This has been a good week for me.  I have felt pretty good, have gone to the gym and been able to run the errands I needed to.  And I was able to go to the temple for an endowment session on Monday.  I love sitting in the celestial room in the temple!

I have been able to eat and have a good appetite.  But a weird thing is that I feel like I am always looking for something to eat.  It may be that food doesn't taste quite right and I am looking for something that tastes as good as I remember it.  I actually had some ice cream the other day.  I have been trying to stay away from sweets, but it just sounded so good.  As I was eating it, I realized that it didn't taste as good as I thought it would.  Darn!  Cause I really do like ice cream!!  Especially chocolate with almonds.  I have tried a couple of new recipes this week.  One that I think I will keep is for a sweet potato carrot curry soup.  Strong flavors and salty things seem to be able to wake up my taste buds!

Ken went to St. George this week to go to the national parks down there to take photos, but I decided I wanted to stay here.  Our friends, Joy and Larry Erickson, were coming into town from Illinois to visit their daughter here in Utah.  And I really wanted to be able to spend time with them before I needed to quarantine myself.  Also, another friend from our time in Michigan, Meghan Decker, has been out here helping her daughter with a new grandbaby and I wanted to get together with her.  So I stayed here.

I enjoyed both the afternoons I was able to visit with each of these friends and spend time catching up with each other and just sharing friendship.  (I can't believe I didn't take any pictures!)  I started thinking about how long we have known the Erickson - 24 years!  Joy has been such a good friend to me, even though we have not lived near each other for the last 14 years.  It is always good to visit with her.  Larry has retired from working for pharmaceutical companies and has been involved in cancer research.  It was interesting to talk with him about the chemo drugs I am being infused with.  Basically, it is a very fine line between enough of these poisonous drugs to kill the cancer and not so much that it will kill you.  Comforting, huh?  I will have to do a post about the things Ken and I have learned about cancer and it's treatments.  We have read some good books about the subject.

Meghan is an amazing woman.  She has co-authored a book about dealing with depression and she works in communication.  She is also an awesome mom and grandma.  We have talked some about meditation and mind/body connection.  She gave me a book titled "It's Easier Than You Think, The Buddhist Way to Happiness".  One of the first pages in the book was about struggles in our lives and managing gracefully.  That has been my prayer since my diagnosis - that I would be able to handle this trial gracefully.

So, some things I am thankful for this week:
-Wonderful out-of-town friends that I was able to visit with.
-A warm house and an electric blanket.  (Can you tell it's been cold?!)
-Books.  I do love to read!
-Scriptures, and the insights that come the more I spend time reading them.






Monday, November 10, 2014

Feeling So Blessed

I don't know why I have been able to feel so good after treatment, but I am feeling incredibly blessed.  It may be that I know a little more what kind of side effects to expect and can head them off before they become a problem.  I started gargling with salt and soda water right after treatment this time, and didn't have a sore throat.  My digestive tract still gets a little sensitive, but I am careful of what I eat.  

So it has been a good week for me.  The best part of this week is that our daughters, Jamie and Alisa, flew in from California for the weekend (we were missing Bekah though)!  And that means that everyone else that lives close by comes home so that we can all spend time together.  It was a 3 day party!  No big events, just time to catch up, share stories and eat.  I am grateful for our wonderful sons-in-law that took care of all the grandkids and their activities so that Jamie and Alisa could come.

Brian and Shalane (and her girls) came to spend the day on Saturday.  I'm sorry Colleen was sick and couldn't come with Brian - next time Colleen!  


 Alta & Ellie loved having all their aunts all to themselves.  Lots of crafts, cuddling and stories read.


And everyone took turns playing with Olive.  She is such a happy baby!


A back seat selfie on our way to get tacos.



And getting to attend church with my daughters.


I am so grateful for:
-Ken!  I can't say it enough.  I love and appreciate all he does for me and our family.
-Our children.  And I am thankful that they like to come home and spend time with each other.
-Feeling well enough to enjoy the time with family.
-The love and comfort I feel from the Lord as I fight this battle with cancer.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Treatment #3 or Halfway Done!



Yesterday's chemo infusion went well with no problems to report.  I will be on the anti-nausea drug for a couple of days and the prednisone for 5 days.  The side effects of those are poor sleep and a slight headache.  But that is not much to handle.  I have noticed that I am more aware of side effects and that helps me to be able to deal with them before they become a problem.  I can feel my throat being a little sore, so am gargling with salt and soda water already.

Last night I was able to go to the church for a Relief Society Dinner.  It was so nice to visit with friends.  And I loved the fun holiday tradition ideas that were shared.  There are such creative people who come up with the most fun things.  There is also a young lady in our ward that is a music major specializing in Opera.  She has the most beautiful soprano voice and last night she sang for us Ave Maria and O Holy Night.  So beautiful!

Today is going well too.  I felt good enough to go to the gym and walk 2 miles on the treadmill.  And do some house cleaning.

I am looking forward to having our two California daughters here this weekend!  Before we knew about the cancer, we had hoped to take a trip out there this fall .  So I am really glad that they are coming to visit.  We'll have to make a road trip out to see them and their families after my last treatment sometime.

Today I am thankful for:
-The drugs that kill this cancer and the drugs that help deal with side effects.
-The way that my body is able to handle these treatments!
-Wonderful family and friends that check up on me and keep me in their prayers.
-Prayers, because I can really feel the strength they give me.



Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween

This past week has been a good one with no problems associated with chemo.  I have been able to exercise and get things accomplished.  When you don't want to leave the house for 5 days to avoid catching anything, you start looking at things and getting ideas of projects.  That's what happened to me this week with my kitchen.

First, I saw this great spice organizer.  I wish I had taken a before picture of this cupboard, but this is the after pic and look - I can see every spice that I have!  I also found, as I was cleaning the shelf out, that I had some spices from at least 15 years ago.  They went in the trash!  I also found that I had two of some spices. I must not have been able to see them before I got so organized.


You know how you start one project and it inevitably leads to another?  As I cleaned out that cupboard, I realized how much all the cabinets needed cleaning inside and out.  So that is my next project.  I think it will take a good amount of time to empty everything out and put it back after cleaning.  I may save that job till my next self imposed quarantine!

I have also been wanting to update the look of my kitchen.  I thought about painting the cabinets, but that sounded like way too much work.  And I didn't want to spend a lot of money.  So I decided that new hardware on them would change the look.  So, I got new knobs (that match the new faucet I got a couple of months ago) and it really made a difference!


Our ward had a Halloween party on Wednesday and I really wanted to go.  I mean, how often will I be bald on Halloween (never again I hope!) and I had to take advantage of that!  Ken was hesitant because I was just ending my low immunity time and we knew that there would be lots of people and LOTS of kids there.  But he humored me.  (And I had hand sanitizer in my pocket that I used about 5 times in the 1/2 hour we were there.)  He even let me dress him in costume!  I had thought of several things I could do with a bald head.  Mr. Clean, a Magic 8 Ball, an awesome zombie, or even paint my head orange with black facial features and be a pumpkin.  But in the end, I thought this would be easy and effective.



Yeah, we were pretty awesome!

We are all set for the 5 or 6 trick-or-treaters that we get at our house.  The kids don't want to climb our steep hill and a lot of the houses have a full set of stairs to get to their front door.  So we just don't get many kids coming to our neighborhood.  I asked Ken to get some candy and we certainly are ready!  I think we are going to have lots of left over candy.  Anyone who wants some, just come on by!


And last, here is a cute gift my neighbor Diane made for me.  I had to take a picture so I can remember this for next year.


This week I am thankful for:
-A husband who is a good sport and lets me talk him into dressing up for Halloween.
-All the projects that I have been able to accomplish.
-The blessing of feeling so good for more than a week.
-Being able to get out again and visit with friends.

Friday, October 24, 2014

End of the Road Trip

It has been a good few days and Ken and I have really enjoyed this road trip.  It's a wonderful time to go to Yellowstone.  The park is so uncrowded!

We took several walks around the geyser areas and enjoyed all the colors in the pools and geysers.  The smell - not so much!


Ken carried the camera and tripod all over and I know that some of the photos he took are going to be spectacular.  These photos are just from my phone.



We left Yellowstone yesterday afternoon and drove to an area in Idaho near Craters of the Moon National Monument.  This morning we drove into the park and explored.  It has fascinating volcanic rock formations for miles and miles.  The visitors center was a good place to start.  We learned a lot about different types of volcanic rock before we drove the 7 mile loop where we could see examples of those rocks we had just learned about.  There were several places to stop and take a short hike.  The place we took this picture is at the top of what is called a spatter cone.  You could look down into the cone - it's kind of like a mini mouth of a volcano.


So, we are back home now and these next few days I am planning to stay home.  These are the days when the white blood cell count after chemo is at the lowest ebb, so I will be very careful to stay away from any chance of catching something!

Things I am thankful for:
- The incredible beauty and amazing variety of this world that God created for us.
- A husband who likes to take last minute road trips.
- Feeling good enough to take a road trip!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A Last Minute Road Trip

Ken and I decided to take a road trip before my immunity falls too low from this round of chemo.  So we took off on Monday to go to Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks.  It has been a great trip so far.  A little cold - but it is beautiful.  And not very many people visiting the parks this time of year.

One of the things that chemo drugs mess with in your body is the digestive system.  After both treatments, I have been very careful of what and how much I eat.  I decided on Tuesday that I was doing fine and would like to have some Mexican food.  Big mistake!!  I was pretty miserable all afternoon and stayed in the hotel room.  I think I learned my lesson.  Too much, too spicy, too soon!

We spent Monday afternoon and Tuesday in Grand Teton.  Then we spent all day today in Yellowstone.  Ken has taken some beautiful pictures of mountains, lakes, waterfalls, elk, and bison.  I'll have to post some of them when we get home.  I did take these pictures with my phone.  We were lucky when we got to Old Faithful.  We only had to wait about 5 minutes before it erupted.

I can really tell that I don't have the same amount of energy as usual.  I keep thinking I can do things as normal, then I take a short hike and realize that I get tired so fast.  The hike to the Lower Falls in that first picture was down 300 steps.  Going down was fine, but boy did I have to take my time going back up!





Saturday, October 18, 2014

So Far, So Good

I have been feeling pretty good after this second round of chemo.  I took anti-nausea meds for 2 days and Claritin with Aleve for possible bone pain after the neulasta shot on Wednesday.  I'm on prednisone for 5 days following each treatment.  That one has caused sleep problems both times now.  I don't do well with caffeine and prednisone is like caffeine on steroids.  Oh wait, it IS steroids!!  One more day on that and I can stop taking it.

I keep a notebook of how I am feeling each day and what meds I take at what time.  I'm glad Jil gave me this tip because it is nice to be able to go back and look to see how I was doing on the same day after treatment as last time.

I have had sores in the back of my throat again, but nothing like the first time.  I have been rinsing with salt and soda water and that helps.  And I am able to eat better this time around.  Probably because of taking care of my throat.  Just a slight feeling of the throat closing up and not wanting to swallow.  I do have a more pronounced strange taste in my mouth, but it is not metallic.  It just makes food taste a little different.  Hopefully it will fade soon.

I am so thankful that I have had good days with enough energy to get things done that I want to accomplish.  Like going shopping and finding a really cute hat in a color I didn't have!

I am thankful for:
-Increased awareness of how the mind and body can work together to heal.
-Getting outside to enjoy the sunshine.
-Quiet evenings and reading scriptures with Ken.


Friday, October 17, 2014

MY STRONG WIFE

This has been a roller coaster ride from the morning we first went to the ER worried that Denise was having a heart attack.  From finding a tumor that I feared was very dangerous to being in the middle of chemotherapy fighting a known foe has been emotional.  However, through it all, Denise has maintained her positive attitude and that has inspired and strengthened me.  We are growing closer because of this battle and I have no doubt that we will look back on this experience as something that increased our love for one another.  The love and support Denise has received from family and friends has been uplifting.  We can't find words to thank you enough for your ongoing care and concerns.  Denise is handling the chemo well enough that we continue to be as active as possible.  The picture included with this post was taken in American Fork canyon a few days after she lost her hair.  She looks beautiful surrounded by her favorite fall colors.  Her positive attitude is catching and I am so thankful for her goodness.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Round 2

Yesterday was chemo treatment #2.  Same routine as last time.  We met with Dr. Wallentine first and talked some more about treatment options.  Often after chemo, they will also have you go through radiation treatments to make sure that they get all the cancer cells.  But with this tumor on my liver, the doctor didn't feel that it would be a good option.  He was concerned about damaging the liver with radiation.  He is going to talk to the radiation oncologist to see if he agrees.  So the outcome of all this is that he feels that having 6 chemo treatments would be better.  And that is fine with me.  It would really make sure there are no cancer cells left.  And that is what I want - so 6 treatments it is.

Here we go with round 2.  Some patients come in pajamas and just sleep.  Not me!  I want to look and feel good while I am there.  Besides, the Benadryl doesn't make me sleepy.  It just makes me really light headed and heavy tongued.  It's funny how hard that makes it to talk.  But it doesn't last too long.  This time I didn't have a reaction to the Rituxan.  They started it off really slow at first just to make sure it would be okay.


Ken and I ordered a chocolate cake from Magleby's to be delivered today.  It was so fun to meet more of the staff as they came in to thank us.

Look who came to visit me!  It's my neighbor and chemo coach, Jil.  She helped the time go by so quickly.  She has had surgery, 18 rounds of chemo and a bunch of radiation treatments for breast cancer.  She is definitely a survivor and a fighter.  A source of inspiration and information.

There are so many companies out there that support chemo patients.  The American Cancer Society sponsors a class for women called Look Good - Feel Better.  My case nurse had signed me up for the class last night and it was nice to attend.  There were 3 presenters and 3 chemo patients there.  The presenters are beauticians and estheticians.  They spent 2 hours with us demonstrating makeup, wigs, hats and tying scarves in different ways.  Cosmetic companies supply each patient with a bag of products.  I figure there was at least $100 worth of product in that bag!  And it was nice to spend time with other chemo patients.  We were able to share experiences and ideas.  

So how am I feeling today?  Well, I'm on prednisone again for the next 5 days and it makes me feel pretty good.  My appetite is still good and I don't have any soreness in my mouth or throat.  I am taking anti-nausea meds today and have had no problem with that either.   So, today has been a good day. 

Things I am grateful for:
- I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes.  I know, a little vain, but I'm grateful still the same!
- Ken, who supports me totally.  And makes me happy.
- Feeling good while fighting this cancer.
- The support and comfort I am feeling from the Lord and from all the prayers being said in my behalf. 


So Much Kindness!

Oh my goodness!  My family and friends are amazing.  I have felt so much love and support from everyone and am so thankful for it.  I can't even begin to thank everyone!  Here are a few of the things that have made me smile and feel so loved this last week.

From my sweet friend in South Carolina.  They are so beautiful and I love the vase.

From 3 different friends thinking about me.

Just some of the cards and letters coming my way.  The pictures from the grandkids are priceless.

 This scarf, and another one, was in a package with some goodies from Trader Joe's (love that store) from Alisa in California.

And this hat was from Jamie.  I feel like someone out of Downton Abbey!

Two of my sweet golf friends brought these over.  I have to tell you about the hats.  My friend, Jody Ross, crochets these and sells them - and other cute items on her Etsy store here.  She can crochet faster than anyone I have ever seen!

So you can see why I am feeling so loved and supported!  Thank you, thank you friends and family.

I have been feeling so good the last week that I felt there wasn't much to keep updated.  I have enjoyed rides up the canyon with Ken to see the colors, the opportunity to go to church and enjoy the spirit felt there, and phone calls and visits.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Big 6-0

Yep, I turned 60 today!  I was able to go to my book group today and it was so nice to get out of the house and to see my wonderful friends.



I have enjoyed calls from my family and I love all the cards that friends have dropped by for me.  And all the text messages and good wishes on Facebook. Another friend dropped by with some homemade freezer jam, some new books and for a nice visit.

I got a sweet message from my nephew, Justin.  He shaved his head to show support!  My sister, Jolene shaved it for him, so one photo with both of them and one where you can see Justin better. Thanks Justin!  You are awesome.  And the beard/bald head looks good on you.



Ken brought me dinner and sweets and some new books to read.  Now, just a relaxing evening at home.  60 is not too bad!

Today I am grateful for:
-Another birthday.
-Family and friends sending good wishes.
-Good books.

Monday, October 6, 2014

A New Look

Well, it has happened.  Saturday night I ran my fingers through my hair and came away with a fist full of hair.  So the time had come to shave it off.  Better that than having to clean it up all over the house!  Even though I knew it was coming, it was still a bit of a reality check when it happened.  I have been feeling so good and normal, that it was just a reminder that I am fighting cancer and that my body is going to do strange things - like loose all my hair.  I imagine that the eyebrows, eyelashes, and peach fuzz left on my head will fall out within a few days.

Yesterday I asked our neighbor, Diane, to come take pictures while Ken acted as my hairdresser - or "dehairdresser" as the case may be!




Ken now has more hair than I do!