Another Road Trip

Well, it is just over 2 weeks post chemo and the only thing I am still dealing with is this darn cold.  I can't seem to get rid of it.  I know my immunity has been low, so I am thinking that is why this cold is hanging on so long.  It seems to slowly be getting somewhat better, so that is good!

Having a husband who is really getting into landscape photography means that we have to go on road trips to take pictures.  He is also learning to take photos of the night sky.  I love spending time with Ken, so this is a win-win!  This week we went to some of the beautiful places in central and south Utah.  All but one of these pictures are from my phone.  I will have to get the photos Ken took when he downloads them onto the computer and sends them to me.

There was this canyon not too far from Goblin Valley called North Temple Wash.  We took our Xterra  on this trip so that we would be able to do some off road driving, and this drive was through some washes and narrow canyons.  It was almost like a slot canyon for SUV's!  Good thing we didn't meet another car in this spot.  Actually, there were very few people anywhere we went.  Nice time of year to go!

The erosion in the rocks was pretty spectacular.

We saw lots of balancing rocks.  I can't imagine what keeps those things in place!

The next stop was at Capitol Reef National Park where we drove through Cathedral Valley.  That is another place that it was good to have the SUV.  The mud there was full of clay that may never come off my car!  There is a formation there called Glass Mountain.  It is not very big, but is very interesting.  It is formed of a type of gypsum that is crystalized, so the whole thing is sparkly and shines (though you can't really tell from these photos).  And they are very, very sharp.  You would not want to touch this!

Then on to Natural Bridges National Monument.  It was so COLD!  The wind was blowing pretty hard, which made it feel even colder.  During the day, we checked out where Ken wanted to take night photos.  We hiked down to the bottom of this bridge and then I went back to the car while Ken stayed till after dark to get the photos he wanted.  It was windy and cold at the car so I thought he must have been frozen down there as it got later and later.  But he said that where he was taking the pictures, the wind was blocked.  

I had an interesting experience in a restaurant in Blanding.  As we were finishing our lunch, the waitress came up and asked me what I was going through treatment for.  Most people just look at me with my head coverings and don't say anything.  So it was rather a surprise.  I told her that I had just finished chemo for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and she said that her mother had recently died of breast cancer.  We talked for a bit about going through chemo.  She shared a little of what her mom had gone through with surgery, chemo and radiation and how hard it was to watch.  It's a strange thing to feel that I am part of that cancer community now.  I don't often think of the word cancer in relation to myself.  It still doesn't feel quite real to me!  But it was nice to talk to her and feel what we had in common.

The last day We drove through Valley of the Gods and Gooseneck State Park.  Then on to Monument Valley.  I had never been there before, but the formations we very familiar from all the Western movies that have been filmed there.  It is not a national park, but is a Navajo Nation Park.  In fact, many Navajos actually live in the park.  There is a 17 mile loop drive with many spectacular spots to stop and take pictures.  If you want to go beyond that, you have to hire a Navajo guide.  

So, it was a wonderful trip with lots of beautiful things to see.  And best of all, a week with Ken with no interruptions!!

Things I am thankful for:

- The amazing beauty of this world.  And that we live so close to these natural wonders.

- The time with my sweetheart!

- A car that can go on all sorts of interesting roads.

- Kind people everywhere.

- People sharing with me that I have been in their prayers, or that they put my name on the prayer roll at the temple.

Feeling Better

Whoa, I'm glad to be back feeling better!  I had a couple of days there that were not very fun.  I don't know if it was fighting a cold on top of chemo, or just the cumulative effects of 6 rounds of chemo.  But I am feeling good again!  I certainly feel better when I can get some good sleep, which I was not getting between  hot flashes, a stuffy nose and prednisone.

I have been thinking about how blessed I feel to have avoided the worst of the chemo side effects that can happen.  When I look at the list of possible side effects of the different drugs that are used in my treatment, it is probably about 2 pages, single-spaced of possible effects.  Before this, when I thought of chemo, the side effects that came to mind were nausea, vomiting and hair loss.  That is only the tip of the iceberg!  So if you want to know more, and maybe help someone you know that is going through chemo, read on.

Everyone's chemo is different.  There are different drug combinations for the many types of cancer out there.  And even someone with the same cancer and chemo treatments will react differently to the treatment.  Most of these effects have gone away by the end of the third week after treatment for me.  Just in time to go get infused and start all over again!  Here are some of the lesser known things that have happened to me.

Runny nose.  Chemo makes your nose run.  All. The. Time!!  I have tissues everywhere - on my desk, on my nightstand, in my purse, in my car, in every pocket of my coats, sweaters and pants.  Thank goodness for tissues that have lotion in them, or I would be walking around with a red, irritated nose. So, a good thing to drop off to a chemo patient is a box of tissues with lotion!

Watery eyes.  I guess it's part of the runny nose thing.  For about the first week after each treatment, my eyesight has been affected and everything is rather blurry.

Digestion problems.  Since the chemo kills all the fast growing cells in the digestive tract, this is a problem for everyone.  For me, the first week following treatment has been hard to find food that tastes good and goes down easy.  My throat constricts -  sometimes even while drinking water.  Soups, especially smooth, creamy soups have helped me.  And ginger tea with lemon and honey.

Constipation.  Part of the digestion problem.  Two words - sennekot and prunes.  Enough said!

Hot flashes.  I thought since I was pretty much done with menopausal hot flashes that this wouldn't be a problem.  No such luck!  And at times, these are worse than any I had experienced pre-chemo!  They can certainly disturb good sleep.  It's amazing how much heat can be generated by this lovely side effect.

Skin sensitivity.  This is a random thing that pops up every once in a while.  Sometimes a spot on my scalp or on my shoulder will be very tender.  Nothing is visible, but I can feel fabric rubbing over a sensitive spot.

Headache.  Great - I already deal with headaches.  What I don't need is more of them!

Muscle spasms.  I had a really bad back muscle spasm after the first round, but hadn't really dealt with this until recently.  I have gotten foot cramps a few times  lately.  But foot cramps are much easier to deal with than the back spasm was!

Skin changes.  My fingertips sometimes peel and get cracked.  In fact, I cannot even unlock my iPhone with my fingerprints anymore!  I need to reenter my prints.

Taste changes.  I have not had the metallic taste that some chemo patients report.  But there is certainly a change in the way I taste food.  And it seems there is always a bad taste in my mouth. Some patients like to suck on lemon candy.  Some need sour,  some need sweet and some need acidic.  Sweets and candy is one of the things that taste terrible to me. I can't believe I am saying that!  I love my chocolate.  For me, the taste that helps is salty.  Crunchy Cheetos and Fritos have been my go-to snack at times.  And I haven't had to give up my beloved Mexican food!  So ask your chemo patient friends what helps make food taste good to them.

Fatigue.  This is a big problem.  In fact, it was the only symptom I had before diagnosis.  And who would associate fatigue with cancer?  My energy level is nowhere near where it was pre-cancer.  But it is not debilitating.  I get winded climbing stairs or going up hills.  But I am still able to do those things.  I have just slowed down!

Chemo brain.  Oh my.  How I miss my brain sometimes.  My sister was just telling me the other day that the medical coding system for insurance now lists chemo brain as an official medical condition.  I don't know if they officially call it "chemo brain", but there is now a code.  Multi tasking is much harder.  And words elude me at times.  One example.  When we were on one of our photo road trips, I was trying to ask Ken if he needed his tripod to take some photos.  I was looking at the tripod on the seat of the car and the only thing I could say to Ken was, "Do you need this . . . you know, thing that has three legs . . . that you put your camera on?"  Yeah, pretty sad.  Ken keeps threatening to play some word games with me.  He says he might have a chance to win for a change.

So, as I said.  I am feeling extremely blessed to be able to have gone through chemo without being sick and in bed.  As I was talking to Ken about this earlier today, I did have to admit that there were 2 things about chemo that were actually good.  Since you lose hair all over your body, I have the smoothest legs around without shaving!  Our granddaughter that just started shaving her legs is a little jealous of that one.  She says shaving is a pain.  The other interesting side effect is that I have not had an arthritis flare-up since starting chemo.  It has to be the most expensive arthritis treatment around!

Things I am thankful for:
- The ability to find things to be thankful for.
- My wonderful support system that has helped me through this crazy time.
- The scriptures, where I have been able to find comfort and perspective.
- The best husband in the world!

A Little Update

Day 3 after chemo and things are going almost the same as before.  I think the cumulative effect of chemo is starting to show up a little.  My food issues are more pronounced this time.  When I took a sip of my smoothie this morning, it tasted terrible!  Food sounds good, but it sure doesn't taste very good.  It takes an effort to swallow right now.  But I know that this effect will be over with in a few days.  The prednisone is affecting my sleep again.  I have 2 more days on prednisone and then I should be able to sleep a little better.  And the good news is, this is the last time I will have to deal with these things!  So all in all, I am doing fine.

My PET scan is scheduled for February 12th at the Huntsman Cancer Center.  That is the test where they will inject me with radioactive sugar and see if any cancer is left to light up the scan.  I probably won't know the results of the test until the following week.  So prayers right now are for a completely clean scan!

I am thankful for:
- Not having all of the side effects that can come with chemo!
- My cold has gotten better.

I'm Done!

Well, it has happened.  This day has been on my calendar for months!  I finished my last chemo treatment today.  In spite of the cold I have been fighting, we were able to go ahead.  The white blood cell number the doctor looks at to decide if your body can handle chemo is called the absolute neutrophils.  They will not let you have chemo if your number is below 1000.  Today mine was the lowest it has been at 1300.  Three weeks ago it was at 2600.  Tomorrow I will get a neulasta shot which will help stimulate the bone marrow to produce more white blood cells.

The treatment went about the same as the previous ones.  I get Benadryl each time to help fight the side effects of the chemo drugs.  I was thinking about that yesterday and since it is an antihistamine, I was hoping it would help with my stuffiness.  And it has!  What a nice side effect.  My throat is a little tender right now.  Probably because it was already irritated by my cold.  So I've started with gargling salt and soda water.  And I've already experienced a couple of really intense hot flashes.  It's going to be an interesting couple of days.

The staff all asked me if I was going to ring the bell at the end of treatment today.  There is a bell on the wall in the infusion room that patients ring at the end of their last chemo.  I have never been there when someone has done that, so I had never seen the results of ringing it.  When I rang the bell, the room broke out in cheers and a nurse handed me a bottle of sparkling cider!  They could even hear the bell out in the waiting room.  When I left, one of the patients in the waiting room congratulated me.  What a nice tradition!

So the plan going forward is this.  I will have a PET scan in about 5 weeks which will show what the chemo has done.  Hopefully there will be no active cancer cells left.  Then I will have check ups every 3 months for the first year.  I asked the doctor what they look for.  I didn't have any symptoms to begin with and what would they find with just a checkup.  He said they look for swelling of lymph glands and that they will probably do a CAT scan at about 6 months.  Then check ups twice a year for the second year and yearly after that.

Ken asked an interesting question when we were talking with the doctor today.  He wondered what would have happened to a patient like me 50-75 years ago.  The answer was scary!  There were no effective imaging techniques then and the cancer wouldn't have been detected until it was late stage.  The doctor said that since the cancer was on the liver, that the liver would be overwhelmed and fail.  The aggressiveness of this cancer would have killed someone in months - not years.  I'm so thankful to have the treatment available to me and to live in a time that they can find the cancer so early.

Thanks for all your texts and prayers, and thanks for celebrating with me.  Look what was on my front porch this time!  Thanks Diane.

I am thankful for:

- Drugs (again).  Where would I be without them?

- I am through with chemo!

- I have a wonderful husband who gives me priesthood blessings and encourages me every day.

- My friends and family who show so much love, support and concern and offer prayers in my behalf.

- The staff in the infusion room who take such good care of the patients.

- The lessons Ken and I have learned from this experience.  I don't know all the reasons why this might have happened, but there is always something to be learned from adversity.  I love this scripture found in Alma 32:21.  "Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true."

Still Hoping for the Best

I got a message from the doctor's office this morning that I can go ahead with treatment tomorrow IF my blood counts are high enough.  So I am still hoping to be able to have chemo #6 tomorrow.  That's kind of a big "if" there.  It is the white blood cell count that needs to be high enough to go ahead, and it is the white blood cells that fight infection.  So I'm saying lots of prayers that my body is strong enough to fight this cold and still have a good blood count!

Keeping My Fingers Crossed

I am scheduled to have my last chemo on Wednesday, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will happen.  Somewhere I have picked up a cold.  I can't imagine where though.  I have been so paranoid about getting sick before this last treatment.

I have heard of so many friends that are sick, and the flu that is going around Utah right now is a nasty strain.  I did have my flu shot in September, but that shot doesn't match the strain that is going around.  So I have been pretty much staying at home since December 26th.  And I still get a cold!  I am going to call the doctor's office in the morning and see what they say.  I am not running a fever and don't feel too bad, so I am hoping that I can still go ahead as planned.  But I am bracing myself for disappointment.  Whatever happens, happens and I will just have to deal with it.

Staying home for that many days is not like me at all.  I am feeling pretty isolated!  I have done a lot of reading.  I finally got my Christmas tree put away today.  I have tried several new recipes.  I have been trying to exercise here at home, but the last few days I have not felt energetic enough to do even that.  I'm pretty sure it was because of the cold coming on.

The thing I miss the most during this illness is my energy.  I am tired of feeling tired and am looking forward to being able to start healing when this is all over.  I know, in talking to friends that have gone through chemo, that it takes months to feel like yourself again.  But that's okay, at least I know I will be starting on the road back to good health.

The odds of my cancer being gone are very high.  But even with that, I occasionally think - what if it's not?  And then I just have to say to myself - that's not likely!  But you can't help having that negative thought.  I probably won't have a scan until sometime in February.  That's a long time to wait to see what the results of these chemo treatments are!  So until then, I'll just keep those negative thoughts out of my mind and concentrate on thinking positive thoughts.

Things I am thankful for:
- The scriptures and the chance to spend a lot of time reading them.
- The beautiful snow (and Ken for snowblowing the driveway!)
- The calls and texts of friends checking up on me.  I feel like I haven't seen them in forever.
- The comfort that I feel as I pray.  It helps me stay positive!