Keeping My Fingers Crossed

I am scheduled to have my last chemo on Wednesday, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will happen.  Somewhere I have picked up a cold.  I can't imagine where though.  I have been so paranoid about getting sick before this last treatment.

I have heard of so many friends that are sick, and the flu that is going around Utah right now is a nasty strain.  I did have my flu shot in September, but that shot doesn't match the strain that is going around.  So I have been pretty much staying at home since December 26th.  And I still get a cold!  I am going to call the doctor's office in the morning and see what they say.  I am not running a fever and don't feel too bad, so I am hoping that I can still go ahead as planned.  But I am bracing myself for disappointment.  Whatever happens, happens and I will just have to deal with it.

Staying home for that many days is not like me at all.  I am feeling pretty isolated!  I have done a lot of reading.  I finally got my Christmas tree put away today.  I have tried several new recipes.  I have been trying to exercise here at home, but the last few days I have not felt energetic enough to do even that.  I'm pretty sure it was because of the cold coming on.

The thing I miss the most during this illness is my energy.  I am tired of feeling tired and am looking forward to being able to start healing when this is all over.  I know, in talking to friends that have gone through chemo, that it takes months to feel like yourself again.  But that's okay, at least I know I will be starting on the road back to good health.

The odds of my cancer being gone are very high.  But even with that, I occasionally think - what if it's not?  And then I just have to say to myself - that's not likely!  But you can't help having that negative thought.  I probably won't have a scan until sometime in February.  That's a long time to wait to see what the results of these chemo treatments are!  So until then, I'll just keep those negative thoughts out of my mind and concentrate on thinking positive thoughts.

Things I am thankful for:
- The scriptures and the chance to spend a lot of time reading them.
- The beautiful snow (and Ken for snowblowing the driveway!)
- The calls and texts of friends checking up on me.  I feel like I haven't seen them in forever.
- The comfort that I feel as I pray.  It helps me stay positive!